Wednesday, July 29, 2009

i feel like summer sun.....

i dont know why...but i feel easy and calm after all the storms that passed...maybe another thing made me forget such ugly things.......




i saw this movie and is fab!!!!it looks like a story who might begin...Let's hopeeee sooooo :d we will see in sicily what it will happen!

Sunday, July 26, 2009

we all get what we merit.....

We all get what we merit.....Something strange happend today in the morning even if i was easy like a sunday morning....(how the song says).....i had in mind to call up my friends for a dinner at my house...like good old times...were we all get round the table ....and of course i had to cook for an army :D and something special because they are used so with the way i cook.i dont wanna say i the chef of LE CHIBERTA in PARIS noway but i do it with passion....so i decided to do this time something betwin the african cusine and the french tradtion plus our anters....our italian once...
As i see myself this days with a good old friend of mine that is from Cameroun and i think i have a crash on him....i always had something that attracks me to him but i never knew what it is and he also....i called him and asked him to make me company to the oriental supermaket we have here in milano one of the biggest.Where all the oriental,asian and african culture meet toghter under the most peaceful thing on earth: FOOD.Also i put him to ask his mummy for some adivices and he brought up this nice African Cusine book written in french!i didnt know what to choose so i made a list and i said i buy all i need and then i decide home what to do...we made the list....not that lil....bc i had to pass also at Garcon...to take the wine and others things...He waited to me to take a shower..bc of course i was sleeping when he arrived and we had breakfast toghter...and here were we to hit the road!:DTooked the car and there were we...
From the moment i got there a wave of smalles and colors tooked my mind away....So it begun the adventure....labels i didnt knew and understand....but i had the transaltor with me....while we were finishing and paying we met the new Simpson family!:D there was mr R. with his brother A. and i guess the future wife.....I was hit by a struck he was looking at me his brother also she was getting furiouse she became more black then she was...but i smiled and said "hi".He said an embaressed"Hi" his brother also she nothing...sure she doenst speak..but i said to her the same and a nice smile....They were shocked.Thanks god D. saved the situation and said " D babe let;s go!and i answer "yes"and we left when i got to the car...D asked me "he was right?!"and i said "yes"....and he said "ok i will not ask anything else"and i answered "well is nothing to say anymore when i say goodbye to a thing or person then is forgot for always"And he said yeah u are strong enough i know that and i am proud of u and huged me:D was suche a warm hug that i didnt got from time...and in that moment those got out also...i felt the way he looked at me..and gived D to drive my car i know he hurted bc nither he made it!but this wasnt all...
I live in an appartament quite big in a condominio very nice and is new....In the front of mine the city hall decidet to build a block of flats for the immgrants and new familys...Getting home and parking the car in the other block i saw somebody moveing on...so it was the new family i said "Oh Dio mio"!This was the worse news ever....but i said maybe he has it on the other side the view...What hurts me the most is that he is makeing the impossible to make me see how happy he is....When something is over is over forever.....
So we got upstairs and as the day was nice we got on the balcony to have lunch and i had the surprise that the matrimonial suite is at the same leavel...i dont understand this...dont u think is crazy???it means an obssesion !Anyway life goes on....i had a grate dinner and good time with my friends...and i cooked with D.what a nice experience...it gets toghter people and makes them feel something one for an other...and we talked and remmber good times...Who knows maybe is the begining of something....
The dinner was fab!!!turkey with caco souse.. i didnt tought before that it can be so tasty..And now we will see what will happend in the neibourhood :D:D:D:D
If he wants war then he will have war...but i will not do anything....bc all in life get payed...The song from today is.....LAST TANGO IN PARIS so it matches the food :


Thursday, July 23, 2009

Today was very hot here....but i went for shopping...so i bout this pair of shoes another one in the dressing room :D:D::Dbut this saturday i have to decide with what i will wear them....mmm i have to see...

never judge a book by its cover..

Never judge a book by its cover...this is what i always tought...today a good friend of mine made me read one article,first of all i thank her....and it really made me think that things arent always as they look.The author was right in some points but i felt like she didnt approved the realtion betwin one muslim and one catolic or other religion....well i dont agree with that....and i dont think that even if we have diffrent clothes and act diffrent this mean we are superficial...or we dont have our pride is true that the biggest part of us likes to be free and do the most crazy things that we can do but everyone of us is responsable for its acts and facts...Isof t true what she said about the young muslims that come in the european or nordamerican countrys to study.I had an example this year in school 15 youngmen from an muslim country(i will not say the name bc i dont want to generalise) came to study for a year with us in the uni.It was a discrasse since they came until they left....they were very rude and bad educated in all meanings beginning from the personal hygiene and with the compartament regarding the teachers that are some heavy names in the jurisprudence...but from another way i had a realtio with one for 2 years and i knew it wasnt like that or tryed to be a don juan with me...there is the family who didnt liked me bc i was iffrent and they tought i was dominating him and bringing him to forget his family or roots!i never tought to make such things!and just like a otught...when he was home we never ate pork or alchool drinks...i respected all but he didnt respected my proud....
This is why i ended bc i have my proud and nobody will pass over it nither the person i loved...now?!I met the other day an old friend that made me remmber good times...and who knows what it happen...BIZOU my dear friend!

Tuesday, July 21, 2009

i am becoming a coutre....



This afternoon i fineded some materials.....i dont know why but i want to do something with them...but sure i am not giving them on the hand of somebody...i will fix something i want to make a dress like i saw from Pucci :d so i make something to pass the time until i go to sicily....:D just cant wait!!!and now this i will make this dress....so tomorrow morning i am going to buy the things that i need...to make it in the room i have left free now...i will make my atelier...who knows maybe tomorrow i will become a lil "Coco" :D:D:D:D

the story of my abaya.....




This is for my friend from Finnland.....This abaya i bought it when me and my family were invited to the Tunisian Embassy in Roma for a ufficial party...And i tought with my mother would be nice to get some traditional clothes....and how the holiday was near we decidet to go to Tunisa,Tunis...so we went to the souk (i think thats the name for the market...or medina)and begun looking for something and so after 10 veils and some maters of silk (i go crazy for silk)and some nice bracelts of silver....(in Tunisia silver is so nice and cheap plus are art pieces after my opinion),We finded this shop....there were a lot of them....and was a male as shopassistent...and i can tell he knew something about fashion....So is glamours...and it had also the veil..that has the model at the ends...it is so nice the material and it still has the nice small it had when i bought it.....it something like incense....The wife of the Ambassador admired it so much...and i love it aslo....

Monday, July 20, 2009

how all started....and how it ended....

Our story....or fairy tail....we met 2 years ago when his brother become our gardener...and my family helped him to make his regular documents...he was an iligally immigrant...and after some time he bringed up his brother...then when i got amaeized about the most beautiful almond and black eyes....and he got chamred by my green eyes....i was sure there it wouldnt be so easy because the diffrences were too big...and my family would have never accepted but it was different....The university came and i convinced my father go help him to go with me in the University by studying law....so i my parents tought i should handel alone my life and decided to move up alone in a flat in center milano....so we begun to visit and go out...and so we fall in love we actually move toghter and trying to have a nice and happy life...but his family managed to move him away from me...buy getting him to marry with force!!!!!!!!!!!and they say they are civilized!!!!!!!!!!!!!!i think they dont have the minimal sense of love and understnading...they didnt knew anything...i was to much for him...but did they asked him???anyway today i told him to bring my keys and i puted his things in a box and gived it to the doorman so i dont wanna see him.......no no...i cant accept this thing.....

i will survive....

well what can i say more....the news fall on my like a lighting in a summer strom..is actually summer....he is getting marryed a name called hoba....or heba...i cant remmber her name...well is not that i care that much...So now i founded out why were they laughing about....and i would have laughed also if i knew somebody in that situation....so now what's left????????just a summer to sicily....alone haveing fun and forget all...the 1001 nights are over...and the fairytales also....what a lair...i have a feeling of revege i know is not right but one day will come things go round and round...i just feel stupid....and hurt.....but i guess it wasn't to be....like his brother said.."he needs a girl with our tradition and modest....and to make him children not to think at a careere"Well i will never be one big i have a name to carry on...and from now this will be my aim...to bring up all my family gaved to me and to turn back to my old friends that i turned off bc the jelousy of somebody....i called Marco T.i dont know why even after our story ended i still want him around...funny?!i tought also he was a true friend and he came to listen to me we did a couple of martinis...and now i cant sleep....uffaaaa questa vita.....i need to leave Milano for some days...i guess Maritima will console me a lil...i dont know from where i should begin....

Friday, July 17, 2009

how others can ruine a beautiful thing...

tonight...i tought i can make fall down bridges betwin cultures...but i was wrong...invited to a dinner of an muslim family that it happends to be even my boyfriends one...persons that my family helped to get out from a poor condition and to get in legality...but this doesnt cont...but is the family of the person i gaved my heart to...

Well i dressed to impress like Audrey Hepburn in the classical Coco Chanel little black dress and the most simply pearls with some dior flats shoes...and a black scarf like a schal...and one of my favorite bags the XXL Jumbo Bag from Chanel.I tooked out the car pass and to get R.from work.Bought some sweets for the family from via Torini (at least for us is that thing,when u go to a persons house for lunch/dinner).

We get to the house...i am taking a deep breath he tells me all is gonna be ok....and get in the house.As soon as the door opens 2 women gets to greet R.i stay behind like a stupid..(i hated always to introduce myself in places where i go with somebody)after greeting all 10 family members and after staying in a corner he remmbered me i shaked all hands...of course nither in the airport at the safe controll they dont pass u trought x-rays like that..but i tryed to smile and use the charmes like i always did by looking in people eyes..they call up dinner and we sit...but the surprise came when 2 of the aunts and cousions we looking at me and laughing about me...i wanted to get 3 feet under and the probelm is that he didnt even saw it....this hurted me so much....but thanks god phone was ringing it was an sms was my best friend E.asking how it is....i told her is a nightmere...but we sit they do their praying i stay in silance analize all and then we start eating the famouse cous cous it was quite good but R. brother begun to pinch me..."the lady isnt used to this type of food"."she prefers the french cusine"and i tryed to be as diplomatic as i could by telling him"well we can always discover new things..."and i smiled then they said something in arabic and laughed i was sure they were talking about me bc i looked at R.and he looked in down.....then the ladys begun with their laugh....oh god....why why why!!!!!then one of the cousins the only girl that speakes italian said "well u wear a lot of euro on u...U think he would be able to give u those things.."I answered her that well he hasn't have to buy me this things because i can afford them by myself...Then the mother came another tragedy.....And all man looking up and down to me i told R i wanna leave...He said not yet...i told him at first bad look i go with or without u....And of course this new pinch came....from his brother,our ex-gardner-so i tooked my bag told R we will hear us the next days and the said good evening and have fun!and leaved....

Now he is calling me like a crazy.....i texted him telling him...i dont wanna talk...i think the end is coming...is really fair???Where is the problem one is rich and the other poor????!!!!!one catolic and the other muslim....my family never rejected him actully they gaved hima schoolarship to study....and have no problems.....i feel like crying.....And in this house is feeling so cold .....and i am so alone....

babe dream about me....

To begin with i choosed this song from moby...that gives me confort...and the video is from one of my favorite movies......